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It will require a lot of discipline and hard work, successes and failures, but to me it is totally worth it. I can grow and change, but it’s okay to do that on my own terms, at my own pace, true to my own values and opinions.I’m not perfect and will certainly be influenced and tempted from time to time by others, another thing I accept fully about myself, but at the end of the day I’m very thankful for the person I’ve become and in almost all ways am happy with myself.(Especially cookies.) I also accept the fact that I know I have the discipline to diet and workout 5 days a week and have the body to show for it, but also that maybe I don’t really want to be that hardcore.I’ve got some arm flab and some extra around my middle, but I’m okay with that. I will share my thoughts and my photography here and know that there are people out there who will think it’s bad and will dislike it.I actively participate in this comparison game without thinking twice about it. So I scroll through the lives of others, picking up bits and pieces of the possibilities but realizing that I don’t feel much better after doing so. In reality, does anyone in their 20s, even 30s and beyond have the answers?I’m not sure any of us ever find the answers we so obsess over finding.If I am writing about something I find interesting, or take a photograph I find beautiful, I feel really good. It doesn’t mean I won’t push myself to be better or grow, it means I understand that what I think is good is not the same as what others deem good.
There is always someone traveling to amazing places, getting engaged, having a baby or celebrating some other adult life event I’ve yet to encounter. Comparison does nothing for me except make me feel inadequate and sad, and like my life is lackluster in some way even though it’s not. Acceptance of where I’m at in life, and acceptance of who I really am regardless of my notions of who I should be, or who others think I should be. Most days I wake up and wonder where life is heading, what I want to do with my life, and it scares me that I don’t have the answers.We waste hours and days dwelling on things that have either already happened and therefore can’t be changed, or things that have yet to happen or may never happen in the future.